Melissa this is Matt Watay… I'm calling you because I'm here with Bruce Angio, Dave Kinzo, we're in Chicago, and you should be here with us. Because we're fucked up, 'I'm hammered'. And, Bruce is hammered. He's, he's already crying like a nancy. You know he already, already wants to go to bed, its like nine oclock. So, you know, and, and, they're on, alright, they're on my ass, because they say that I need some manscaping down below. I have lots of hair below. But its, you know I'm in good shape. 'No its not'. According to Bruce its not. But… 'It needs to be cleaned up'. Bruce says it needs to be cleaned up. You know…That's, all I can say is that Bruce is being a nancy. Its nine oclock and he just, he wont hang. 'You don't need to be bald, but you need to have at least neat and clean'. Bruce says I don't need to be bald, I just need to be neat and clean. Alright well, gimme a call back, and we'll all, we'll discuss this.

It's Raining men.

Hey you mother fucker. It's only 10:30 and I am fucked up. I'm not really badly fucked up, but I'm fucked up enough to have a fucking conversation with the black dude in the bathroom who gives you paper towels. Man I gotta big bottle of Jagger, some fucking Coor's Light, and I've got that big box of … watching some girls. It's great, man. And he was here when I got here. Man, I wish you was with us. You and that mother fuckin' fine boat. Anyhow, give me a call tomorrow you dumb bitch. Bye.

I'm so drunk right now. You should really talk to me. Motherfucker. Why don't you answer your phone, did you go to sleep? You dumb bitch. Cause you're a fucking hour ahead of me. You shit. I love you. I'm just kidding. I don't know dude, maybe you're not sleeping. But its 6:21 here, so it's like 3:21 there. In South Carolina. That's really I gotta say. Just. You're probably gonna be mad in the morning when you talk to me. Or you text me and listen to this. So I'm gonna hang up now. I think I called you already but I don't remember. We'll see. Alright. I don't know. Happy New Year. Bye bye.

What's up you little bitch? Gimme a fuckin' call back you fuckin' whore. Byyeeee, I love you.

Yo, one ok, listen listen to this. You have to put this on your fuckin' answering machine thing on the internet. Alright. I have 3 reasons why. 1. You're a bitch. 2. Cuz you're my brother. And 3. Cuz you're a fuckin' asshole for not answering your brothers phone call. That's fuckin' gay, I'm looking at Zach's here to make out with some chick. Alright. And you're a fuckin' douche for not answering. Gimme a call back motherfucker. Alright? Gimme a call. Peace.

Yo whatup man, this is Josh. I'm just calling to say what's up I just stumbled in my dorm right now. Its like 330 in the morning. Alright gimme a call…later. Peace.

So did I tell you about Jamie Greene? She decided to try her luck at dice in Vegas. She lasted a whole 10 minutes before she was flat broke, homeless, and working for this less and working for this black guy named Martin Luther King. She sent me a care package the other day, and guess what was in it? Her busted snatch and flat-tire asshole.

Yo little bitch, callll me back!

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