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Search results for ’voicemail‘

0:22
(508): Fix your Voicemail Girl!
Fix your Voicemail Girl!
[Funny]
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OK, you need to change your voicemail so at least its your voice so I feel like I'm at least having a conversation with you. Cause this, "the voicemail subscriber you have reached is unavailable" is bullshit bitch. Fuckin', you better fix that, you hear me girl? Bye!
OK, you need to change your voicemail so at least its your voice so I feel like I'm at least having a conversation with you. Cause this, "the voicemail subscriber you have reached is unavailable" is bullshit bitch. Fuckin', you better fix that, you hear me girl? Bye!
1
[61]
[57]
by DavidT DavidT
0:18
(646): Adam like my voicemail greeting.
Adam like my voicemail greeting.
[Misc]
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Hey Ryan what's up it's Adam your voicemail greeting is funny. I'm very happy to know that this will be transcribed and send to you by email. Anyway, just just calling you back. Give me a call.
Hey Ryan what's up it's Adam your voicemail greeting is funny. I'm very happy to know that this will be transcribed and send to you by email. Anyway, just just calling you back. Give me a call.
0
[57]
[55]
by ryan ryan
0:36
(805): Ex Boyfriend Wasted Voicemail
Ex Boyfriend Wasted Voicemail
[Drunk]
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Heaaayy. This is dis jar. Come claa to de dare. Noo this not dare. Da clooown dis not tell me yo beck. Mmm boww ing bieetch. CALL ME BACK. Pleeaase. With cheese. Bye.
Heaaayy. This is dis jar. Come claa to de dare. Noo this not dare. Da clooown dis not tell me yo beck. Mmm boww ing bieetch. CALL ME BACK. Pleeaase. With cheese. Bye.
6
[263]
[92]
by ideabeast ideabeast
4:47
(409): Funny Voicemail on my work phone
Funny Voicemail on my work phone
[Funny]
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Oh hello me. You’re not able to get this call. Yeah look this is Walker. This is Walker. This is Wren. I need to Wren to get a hold of Lee, get a hold of Wayne, and all the children. Now this Sabrina has called her Uncle to come pick her up from the house here. Did she call ya’ll? She called ya’ll is that right? She called Big E, and Salem. They down here in Houston. To come down here to pick her up. I don’t know where I could meet, I didn’t know anything about it. Now they askeded me a long long time ago. Could she come. I said yeah. And now I wish you’d see her room back there. Now my room is clean. You saw, you saw how my room is clean. Alright I’m a big man I clean my room up. Now she got here and she got straight now and I don’t think, he go.. now…she is old enough to clean up her own room. And comb her hair. Now she can do that and I’m a big man I have a marriage and different things coming here. Now they come here form Houston to spend some you know gas and noise, and I know that cost money. And if was a knowed they was coming and wanted to come, I’d a gave ‘em money to help you know make the expenses and for her to come down here. That’s right for them to do that. But this was, you know kinda behind my back and I didn’t know anything about it. Now I want you to get a hold to Lee, getta hold of Wayne and tell ‘em to get over here right away as soon as possible. Now I don’t know what’s going on. And I sh, I only showed them her room where she sleeping at night. And the way she keep her house. And I got my room, I’m a big man, and I clean up my room, and I clean up my house. Now I don’t know how they raised they children. But I don’t raise my childrens like that. When Rene was ten years old they kept their own room clean, they kept their house clean. Now get over here, and don’t call, don’t call me, but get over here to see what’s going on. Cuz I didn’t know….they didn’t…they didn’t tell me they was coming down here. I favored and I don’t want to disappoint them. Yeah. And she’s here now with no shoes on, power ink on, no clothes on and her room it looks ridiculous. Yeah I’d soon, I’d give her money, give her money, ten dollars the other day. Ten, or nine dollars yesterday, the day before yesterday. Today we went out and ate I gave her ten more dollars. Or almost ten dollars with them. Mmmhmmm. Now somebody did go down there, and and, got the light bill on me. That water bill, I just paid the light bill. Walker was his name. I paid a light bill that was three hundred and somethin’ dollars. Three thousand and somethin’ dollars… See I just got done payin’ eh ma — uh somebody I told you that. I went down and paid a water bill three thousand, and some dollar water bill on that. Now I don’t know what’s going on, not tryin’ to, you know, upset nobody or nothin’ else. But that’s what, why I was down there last night to show you. And her room is a addictive is why she still sleep in there. Now I got up this morning, yesterday I fixed the living room up. Cause I have my doctors now, I got them whiter folks to come down here and verify, they can verify I cleaned up my room, and I cl — cleaned up this third room and we have a nurse, they supposed to send a nurse down here was supposed to come Monday. But she didn’t make it I don’t know whether its weather, or what the problem is…ok call then.
Oh hello me. You’re not able to get this call. Yeah look this is Walker. This is Walker. This is Wren. I need to Wren to get a hold of Lee, get a hold of Wayne, and all the children. Now this Sabrina has called her Uncle to come pick her up from the house here. Did she call ya’ll? She called ya’ll is that right? She called Big E, and Salem. They down here in Houston. To come down here to pick her up. I don’t know where I could meet, I didn’t know anything about it. Now they askeded me a long long time ago. Could she come. I said yeah. And now I wish you’d see her room back there. Now my room is clean. You saw, you saw how my room is clean. Alright I’m a big man I clean my room up. Now she got here and she got straight now and I don’t think, he go.. now…she is old enough to clean up her own room. And comb her hair. Now she can do that and I’m a big man I have a marriage and different things coming here. Now they come here form Houston to spend some you know gas and [click to continue...]
2
[210]
[87]
by mariorodriguez mariorodriguez
1:35
(310): Kim Kardashian to Ray J Voicemail
Kim Kardashian to Ray J Voicemail
[Celebrity]
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I just want you to know that I think you're so disgusting and desperate. Who leaves their email address on their machine? You clearly want people to call you, but yet you won't call me back when you just know some crazy shit is going on right now. You know I need to talk to you. It's just, you make yourself look so suspicious by not returning my calls. It's just, I really, honestly, I have no idea who you think you are or what you think that you're up to or what you think you're doing. I'm going to get to the bottom of this. And actually, you know what, don't call me back. Don't ever call me back. I never want to talk to you ever ever again. I think you're honestly a sick human being and I think you are just so desperate that you'll do anything for fucking attention. And you're just so disgusting. Honestly, I cannot even give you anymore of my attention because I just think that, I mean, you are just sick. There's no other words for it. So I think that, don't ever call me back, ever again. I'm definitely just going to have my attorneys contact you and we'll deal with it that way. So lose my fucking number and never call me ever again, you fucking, disgusting, desperate [screams] I hate you!
I just want you to know that I think you're so disgusting and desperate. Who leaves their email address on their machine? You clearly want people to call you, but yet you won't call me back when you just know some crazy shit is going on right now. You know I need to talk to you. It's just, you make yourself look so suspicious by not returning my calls. It's just, I really, honestly, I have no idea who you think you are or what you think that you're up to or what you think you're doing. I'm going to get to the bottom of this. And actually, you know what, don't call me back. Don't ever call me back. I never want to talk to you ever ever again. I think you're honestly a sick human being and I think you are just so desperate that you'll do anything for fucking attention. And you're just so disgusting. Honestly, I cannot even give you anymore of my attention because I just think that, I mean, you are just sick. There's no other words for it. So I think that, don't ever call me back, ever [click to continue...]
1
[398]
[322]
by kimkvoicemail kimkvoicemail
0:16
(323): You Look Sexy Voicemail - FAIL.
You Look Sexy Voicemail - FAIL.
[Love]
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Hey honey just wanted to call you to let you know you looked real sexy today when I left for work, sleeping there with the dogs…anyway, I love you, I'll talk to ya, just, be thinkin about ya all day.
Hey honey just wanted to call you to let you know you looked real sexy today when I left for work, sleeping there with the dogs…anyway, I love you, I'll talk to ya, just, be thinkin about ya all day.
3
[83]
[56]
by anonymous anonymous
0:20
(323): Funny Lost and Found Dog voicemail
Funny Lost and Found Dog voicemail
[Funny]
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Hey bud, I just found your dog Rocky, he's filthy, and it just took me five minutes of cleaning off his tag to even figure out your phone number, since you didn't leave an address… I don't know where to drop him. So, he's gonna be at my house chillin' out eatin' a steak. Because he's got such a shitty owner, until you stop by to pick him up. 273 Emerald.
Hey bud, I just found your dog Rocky, he's filthy, and it just took me five minutes of cleaning off his tag to even figure out your phone number, since you didn't leave an address… I don't know where to drop him. So, he's gonna be at my house chillin' out eatin' a steak. Because he's got such a shitty owner, until you stop by to pick him up. 273 Emerald.
2
[140]
[58]
by anonymous anonymous
2:12
(NOYB): Alec Baldwin Goes Bizerk on his Daughter's Voic...
Alec Baldwin Goes Bizerk on his Daughter's Voicemail.
[Misc]
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Hey I want to tell you something, okay. And I want to leave a message for your right now, cause again it's 10:30 here in New York on a Wednesday. And once again I've made an ass of myself trying to get to a phone to call you at a specific time. When the time comes for me to make the phone call, I stop whatever I'm doing and I go and I make that phone call. At 11:00 in the morning in New York, and if you don't pick up the phone at 10:00 at night, and you don't even have the goddamned phone on. I want you to know something, okay. I'm tired of playing this game with you. I'm leaving this message with you to tell you you have insulted me for the last time. You have insulted me. You don't have the brains or the decency as a human being. I don't give a damn that you're 12 years old or 11 years old or that you're a child or that your mother is a thoughtless pain in the ass who doesn't care about what you do as far as I'm concerned. You have humiliated me for the last time with this phone. And when I come out there next week, I'm gonna fly out there for the day just to straighten you out on this issue. I'm going to let you know just how disappointed in you I am and how angry I am with you that you've done this to me again. You've made me feel like shit and you've made me feel like a fool over and over and over again. And this crap you pull on me with this goddamned phone situation that you would never dream about doing to your mother, and you do it to me constantly and over and over again. I'm gonna get on a plane or I'm gonna come out there for the day and I'm gonna straighten your ass out when I see you. Do you understand me? I'm gonna really make sure you get it. Gonna get on a plane, gonna turn around, and I'm gonna come home. So you better be ready Friday the 20th to meet with me so I'm gonna let you know just how a feel about what a rude little pig you really are. You are a rude, thoughtless little pig, okay?
Hey I want to tell you something, okay. And I want to leave a message for your right now, cause again it's 10:30 here in New York on a Wednesday. And once again I've made an ass of myself trying to get to a phone to call you at a specific time. When the time comes for me to make the phone call, I stop whatever I'm doing and I go and I make that phone call. At 11:00 in the morning in New York, and if you don't pick up the phone at 10:00 at night, and you don't even have the goddamned phone on. I want you to know something, okay. I'm tired of playing this game with you. I'm leaving this message with you to tell you you have insulted me for the last time. You have insulted me. You don't have the brains or the decency as a human being. I don't give a damn that you're 12 years old or 11 years old or that you're a child or that your mother is a thoughtless pain in the ass who doesn't care about what you do as far as I'm concerned. You have humiliated me for the last time with this phone. [click to continue...]
2
[489]
[255]
by alecbaldwinvoicemail alecbaldwinvoicemail
6:37
(NOYB): Crazy Woman Tries to Ruin Husband s Life on Voi...
Crazy Woman Tries to Ruin Husband s Life on Voicemail
[Drunk]
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… and home hi … noon again how do you know my husband and that relation … you to my husband that's right this is whose wife just doing a background checking on my husband it because he likes to keep secret so I would like to know who you want your friend boyfriend governor interest but hi will be about 4 none of the above would you kindly call me back on my husband's cellphone thank yes I want to first day … another thing my husband Said you don't wanna get in trouble because see the reason the follow if this happening this because Tom Guy on the internet and I was on the computer clients … go decided either to pop up and have a nice 1 chat about my husband saying he knows everything about Him and then it's Justine my husband to get it on the computer Pamela and that he knows anything about my husband my husband knows everything about Him so this is why I'm taking a a very strong interest in who's my husband talking to because … that those and settle with someone especially when me the Mary XX years so I could you call me to tell me what you and want me bert get all relations and I can feel better but other than that yes my husband piece I wanna hey remember it … before I already told him that so he knows that to and just thought I let you do not know what's happening here because you know I don't think there's XX around shit you know … irish and I have an I which company you know and I don't take it out on people this is 1 of the clear that up with you anyway the guy said he knows everything about my husband you know we do is … I'm contacts on this cellphone of my husband so you have yo what's happening kindly call me back right away hey if not then I'll let you know that I scared yourself and hi hope that don't scare you I'm just trying to get down to the bottom of things now alex how my husband calling new … but I explained to him about that person popping up on my computer I went by the way I left popped into my name about computer … top that computer … present probably back hey honey me but anyway after about them I'm just trying you know understand why … you know before for many folks he's around and I do get jealous but I don't understand this complete stranger coming on our computer telling me I should have to like you know went to a husband has been up to so I figured I'd let you know on that if you can call me … for I got person this I don't know where I'm at go to hey you must know how shocking that came to me I was very shock very very shock you know was if you don't know if I don't talk to you in person and things like that hey if you don't know if I need to talk to you in person and things like that if you don't know if I don't talk to someone you in personal things like that that's how I feel that person must really know have told anyone sail although stan pete and everything so I just thought I got to know hey babe my husband I'm home hi this is jessica friend fun hey guys this hello wanted try bonus my husband sounds was gonna get in trouble trouble in trouble with the hi you know in not and I need to … line my husband said he doesn't wanna tell me if you just wanna get nobody and couple I'm gonna calling and get you in trouble just calling to get down to about almost thing you know hi love … very much just wanna know what you want to I have that right to know phone call me back and you have a nice day sorry to bother you at the office and I'll … hi ed again I have a right to know what's happening hi saying anything so let you know hi I hope hey I don't know if I'm going to do anything on a critical care call anything hey yes my husband too but anyway … some this is the first so if you … this is like to know if you try I was hoping you call me back on her cellphone thank you.
… and home hi … noon again how do you know my husband and that relation … you to my husband that's right this is whose wife just doing a background checking on my husband it because he likes to keep secret so I would like to know who you want your friend boyfriend governor interest but hi will be about 4 none of the above would you kindly call me back on my husband's cellphone thank yes I want to first day … another thing my husband Said you don't wanna get in trouble because see the reason the follow if this happening this because Tom Guy on the internet and I was on the computer clients … go decided either to pop up and have a nice 1 chat about my husband saying he knows everything about Him and then it's Justine my husband to get it on the computer Pamela and that he knows anything about my husband my husband knows everything about Him so this is why I'm taking a a very strong interest in who's my husband talking to because … that those and settle with someone [click to continue...]
0
[40]
[38]
by francisco francisco
0:13
(718): Sols confides to His Shrink's Voicemail About h...
Sols confides to His Shrink's Voicemail About his Mother...
[Funny]
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Y-y-y-yes doctor, its awful. I can't believe the awful things my mother would say to me. And then on top of it to beat me around the house like that. She nearly put me into a coma state. God help us.
Y-y-y-yes doctor, its awful. I can't believe the awful things my mother would say to me. And then on top of it to beat me around the house like that. She nearly put me into a coma state. God help us.
0
[46]
[62]
by Jerky-Boys-Sol Jerky-Boys-Sol

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