1: Search X. 2: Security Systems! Talk to me! 1: Yeah gimme a second I’ll transfer ya now! 2: Morning Pete’s may I help you? 1: Hello there. I’m looking for a security system, I want something I can put on me wall. Put a camera on the wall, put it over there, put it over there, got someone who’s gonna rob my BMW, and they got shot in the face, what have you got? 2: Hold on a second. 2: Hello sales? 1: Security systems, talk to me! 2: Yeah which ones would ya like? 1: I want one with a camera you can put over in the corner, you put another camera in the corner, you put a camera on the outside, you got someone coming in to steal my BMW and he gets shot in the face , what have you got? 2: Ehmm, at the moment we’ve got nothing at all actually. 1: You aint got nothing? You got nothing in the whole store? 2: No, do you have a BMW though. 1: Oh I got a BMW it is quite nice. 2: Yeah very nice. At the moment absolutely nothing. 1: You ain’t got nothing in the store. You were all sittin’ there, you’re all getting paid. Wastin’ people’s time, and you ain’t got nothing in the store to sell. 2: Unfortunately nothing. 1: You don’t just jump in to bed with Terry Gibbs you see, you take Terry Gibbs out to lunch, you wine him, you dine him. You give him an oil massage. And he gives ya 9.50 if you’re lucky…

RON ARTEST Question. Two parts: 20 points, five rebounds, five steals, seems like you had your hand in every play for the Lakers tonight. Is that why you came here? RON ARTEST: Oh, man, first I want to say, you know, that God put me in a situation  — before I go real crazy, got put me in a situation, and I want to thank Him for the blessing, a Game 7, home-court advantage. We give away Game 2 or I gave away Game 2. Game 7, you go to bed, I want to thank God for this blessing to be here, and the one thing I said earlier was when I was younger, I bailed out on my Indiana team. I was so young, so egotistical, and I bailed out on Donnie, Larry, Jermaine, Tinsley, Foster, who never bails out. He just fights for you, for his team. Stephen Jackson who already had a ring, continued to fight for us, et cetera. I feel sometimes like a coward when I see those guys, because it's like man, I'm on the Lakers and I had a chance to win with you guys, and I feel almost like a coward. I never thought God would put me in this situation again because of that. So I'm blessed, and I totally forgot the question you asked. (Laughter). Question. 20 points, five rebounds, five steals, seems like you had your hand in every play for the Lakers tonight. Is that why you came here? RON ARTEST: Well, Game 3 we won, I had two points. I always tell people it's about the total points. If I have two or three rebounds and play 40 minutes but we won the Game 60-40 or something like that, what did we do as a team, not what I did. A lot of people are asking me when are you going to step up, score 40, do this, do that. What did we do as a team? It doesn't matter what I did. Tonight was one of those nights where I had 20 points, and I still think we did that as a team. We fought together. This was one of the best games of I don't even know, man. I don't want to be in a game like this. Where the game came out either way on our own floor and the game can go either way, and I'm just like, okay, what did I get myself into. What did I get myself into. Honestly I've got to thank my doctor, Dr. Santi (phonetic). She would come and help me relax in these moments because usually I'm not good at these moments, and I know that about myself. You know, so what do I do to be good at these moments? You figure it out. And I needed some type of way to relax during these moments. I missed a couple threes that I was wide open that I wish I would have went down and I trusted everything she told me as far as relaxing, and bam, the big three goes in. I didn't even realize I was really in Game 7, I was so caught up in the game itself. I've been telling you guys that for a long time now. Question. Forget the second question. Just say "Queensbridge." RON ARTEST: Jeff Van Gundy, please, when you see this, say "Queensbridge." So I'm so happy right now, I don't know what to say, man. I don't know. Question. You played a lot of minutes tonight  — RON ARTEST: 46 minutes tonight. Question. Back in Boston, you struggled, the team struggled, and it looked like the gravity was too much for you at the free-throw line at a key moment, didn't go in, didn't execute. At a moment when the gravity seemed to be affecting Kobe and Pau and of course the defense of the Celtics, you were the one who stepped in and started to carry the load. RON ARTEST: I didn't trust what my doctor told me at the free-throw line. I want to be good at those moments because you want to make the NBA, you want to be good. There's certain things I'm not good at, but I want to be good because I want to win. I didn't trust myself in those games, and I wouldn't tell you guys that, not at that time, because then people will feed off that. I didn't trust in myself at that time at the free-throw line, I was disappointed. But I was still alive, we had two more games, and I trusted myself today. I missed one free throw out there and then made a big shot and had a lot to do with relaxing and playing basketball, playing hard, bouncing back. The history of me in the playoffs, which I need to get better at, is playing more consistently throughout the playoffs. The history of me in the playoffs is I have a two good games and then I have a bad game and maybe I might win a Game 6 or lose like last year in Game 7, and that's something I want to improve on, also. Todays is one of those days where I trusted in myself and I didn't settle for some shots. I kind of at the right time did exactly what Coach wanted me to do. I just got to thank Coach Jackson for having me and Kobe and the Lakers for giving me this opportunity, and I'm really, really just enjoying this, and I just can't wait to go to the club. Question. Kobe had you guys' backs so many nights this year, game winners, scoring big. What does it mean for you guys to pick him up like you did tonight? RON ARTEST: Kobe wants to win. What you saw in Boston Kobe wanted to win. People said he wasn't passing, blah, blah, blah, but Kobe wanted to win and he didn't know if he could win playing with us at that time. He wanted to win as a team, though, not going off on his own. Today he wanted to win, he didn't want to lose. You saw a determined Kobe Bryant, Black Mamba, two-four, who wanted to win, but it wasn't with the team. Late in the second half he started to move the ball and attack and pass and still was Kobe Bryant, and he trusted us and made us feel so good and he passed me the ball. He never passes me the ball, and he passed me the ball. Kobe passed me the ball, and I shot a three. He's a Zen master, so he can speak to you, and he doesn't need a microphone, you can hear him in your head, "Ron, don't shoot, don't shoot," whatever, pow, three. I love the Zen, though.

Reception: Thank you for calling for Radisson Hotel and Suites, how may I direct your call? Tom Crush: Yes, I need to speak to guest, uh his name is Gary Vaynerchuck. And I, I can spell that for you, its V-a-y-n-e-r-c-h-u-k. Reception : Now what was the first name. Tom: Uh the first name is Gary. Reception: With a “G” right? Tom Crush: Yes please. Reception: One moment. Tom Crush: Thank you. [ringing] Gary: Hello. Tom Crush: Yes is this Gary? Gary: This is Gary. Tom Crush: Gary hello, my name is Tom Crush, and you’re destroying my life. Gary: I’m sorry Tom Crush. Tom Crush: Everyone keeps telling me to crush things. Some man actually…physically, crushed me! Gary: I’m sorry buddy. Tom Crush: What should I do? Gary: You should tell them to… CRUSH OFF! Tom Crush: What, what is crush it? And why does everyone want to do it to me? Gary: I’m not sure why they want to crush you bro, but Tom Crush is an amazing name to have bro. Tom Crush: I thought so too, I, al-, its almost like a superhero. Gary: I agree. Tom Crush: Alright. Gary: Alright bro. Tom Crush: Thank you for your help Gary. Gary: No problem my friend. Tom Crush: Bye bye.

Bexi: “This is Bexi…” Franc: “Hello Bexi” Bexi: “Hi” Franc: “Hi this is Franc Ovrier, I’m with President Sarkozy on the line for Governor Palin.” Bexi: “Yes one second please, can you hold on one second please.” Franc: :”Yeah no problem” Bexi: “Alright thanks…Hi I am gonna hand the phone over to her.” Franc: “Ok thank you very much I’m gonna put the president on the line.” Bexi: “OK he’s coming to the line” Sarah: “This is Sarah” Franc: “Ah yeah, uh Governor Palin?” Sarah: “Hellooooooo.” Franc: “Ah, just just hold on for President Sarkozy one moment.” Sarah: “Its not him yet Bexi.” Bexi: “I always do that!” Masked Avengers: “Yes hello Governor Palin.” Sarah: “I’ll just have people hand it to me right when its them.” Masked Avengers: “Yes hello Mrs. Governor.” Sarah: “Hello this is Sarah how are you?” Masked Avengers: “Fine and you? This is a Nicholas Sarkozy speaking. How are you?” Sarah: “Ohhhh so good, its so good to hear you. Thank you for calling us. ” Masked Avengers “Oh it’s a pleasure.” Sarah: “Thank you sir we have such great respect for you, John McCain and I, we love you! And thank you for spending a few minutes to talk to…me!” Masked Avengers: “I followed your campaigns closely with my special American advisor Johnny Holiday you know?” Sarah: “Yes good.” Masked Avengers: “Excellent. Uh, are you confident?” Sarah: “Very confident, and we’re thankful the polls are showing that the race tightening and…” Masked Avengers: “Well I know very well that the campaign can be exhausting, how do you feel right now my dear? Sarah: “I feel so good, I feel like we are in a, a marathon, and at the very end of the marathon you get your second wind and you plow through the finish…” Masked Avengers: “They say I got elected in France because I am real, and you seem to be someone who is real as well.” Sarah: “Yes. Yeah, haha, Nicholoas we so appreciate this opportunity.” Masked Avengers: “You know I see you as a president one day, uh, you too!” Sarah: “Uh, hahaha, maybe in eight years.” Masked Avengers: “Well I hope for you. You know we have a lot in common because personally one of my favorite activities to hunt too.” Sarah: “Oh very good, we should go hunting together.” Masked Avengers: “Exactly we could go try hunting by helicopter like you did, I never did that! Like we say in French ‘………..’” Sarah: “Well I think we could have a lot fun together as we’re getting’ work done, we can, we can kill two birds with one stone that way.” Masked Avengers “I just love killing those animals! Um-mmmm! Take away life, that is so fun! I’d really love to go as long as we don’t bring Vice President Cheney! Hahaha” Sarah: “No, I’ll be a careful shot, yes.” Masked Avengers: “You know we have a lot in common also, because except that from my house I can see Belgium. That’s kind of less interesting than you. “ Sarah: “Well, see we’re right next door to the countries that we all need to be working with. Yes.” Masked Avengers: “Some people said in the last days and I thought that was mean, that you weren’t experienced enough in the foreign relations, and you know, that’s completely false. That’s the, the thing I said to my great friend, the Prime Minister of Canada Steph Cass. “ Sarah: “Well, he’s doin’ fine too. And yeah when you come in to a position underestimated it gives you an opportunity to prove the pundits and the critics wrong. You work that much harder.” Masked Avengers: “I, I was wondering, because you are so next to him, one of my good friends, also the Prime Minister of Quebec, Mr. Charles…have you met him recently? Did he come to one of your rallies.” Sarah: “I haven’t seen him at one of the rallies but its been great working with the Canadian officials in my role as Governor. We have a great cooperative effort there as we work on all of our resource development projects. You know I look forward to working with you, and getting to meet you personally and your beautiful wife. Oh my goodness you’ve added a lot of energy to your country even with um, with that beautiful family of yours.” Masked Avengers: “Thank you very much, you know my wife Carla would love to meet you, uhhhh you know even though you know she was a bit jealous that I was supposed to speak with you today. Hahaha” Sarah: “Hahaha. Well give her a big hug for me.” Masked Avengers: “You know my wife is a popular singer, and a former top model. And she’s so hot in bed. She even wrote a song for you.” Sarah: “Oh my goodness I didn’t know that.” Masked Avengers: “Yes in French its called ‘……..’ or if you prefer in English, Joe the Plumber! ‘Its his life, Joe the Plumber!’” Sarah: “Maybe she understands some of the unfair criticism but I bet you she is such a hard worker too and she realizes you just plow through that criticism.” Masked Avengers: “I, I just want to be sure, I don’t quite understand the, the phenomenon, Joe the Plumber, that’s, that’s not your husband right?” Sarah: “That’s not my husband, but he’s a normal American who just works hard and doesn’t want government to take his money.” Masked Avengers: “Yes yes I understand we have the equivalent of their Joe the Plumber in France its called Marcelle the guy with bread under his armpit. Uh, we…” Sarah: “Right, that’s what its all about. It’s the middle class, and the government needing to work for them. You’re a very good example for us here.” Masked Avengers: “Uh, I see in a bit, about NBC, even Fox News, wasn’t an ally, an ally sorry, about uh, as much as usual.” Sarah: “Yeah that’s what we’re up against.” Masked Avengers: “I must say Governor Palin, I loved the documentary they made on your life. You know uh Hustler’s Nailin’ Palin?” Sarah: “Oh good, thank you, yes.” Masked Avengers: “That was really edgy.” Sarah: “U-haha well good.” Masked Avengers: “I really loved you. And I must say something also Governor, uh, you’ve been pranked. By the Masked Avengers we are two comedians from Montreal.” Sarah: “Ohhhh, have we been pranked? And, what radio station is this?” Masked Avengers: “This is for CKOY in Montreal.” Sarah: “In Montreal, tell me their radio station call letters.” Masked Avengers: “CK…hello? If one voice can change the world for Obama, one Viagra can change the world for McCain.” Bexi: “I’m sorry I have to let you go thank you.”