Listen closely. Say it with me. "Fresh. Yellow. Peeps." It is that time of year, where you can walk into any Wal Mart, and for .96 cents — purchase a fresh box of yellow peeps. For your eating pleasure. I myself have a box here of freshly opened, riding home from WalMart, eating my yellow peeps. Not the white ones. Not the purple ones. Not a green one. YELLOW. PEEPS. I love em. Gimme call bye.

Hey man. Check out this riff that I just dropped. Its a little guitar riff. Ok. Bringin' on the mothafuckin' cream cheese! Bringin' on the mothafuckin' cream cheese. Bringin' on the mothafuckin' cream cheese. And then it switches. To, bringing on the motherfuckin' cream cheese. Its all about my love for cream cheese.

Hi, Good Evening. It's T. J. We, uh we exchanged email about I don't know about week ago and I should've called you sooner, but I think I've been kinda crazy busy, so I was out now. I want to gimme a call. Anyhow, would love to chat. I won't be available until after 8 but would love to have you call me back or I'll call you back number is XXX-XXX-XXXX. Again, my name is TJ. Talk to you soon. Bye.

Darling of my heart, I haven't talked to you in weeks. You did call me. And you said you had to hang up for a second and that you'd call me right back…but I'm sure you got busy. I want you to know I love and I want you to have a wonderful trip. And if you get a minute before give me a call. I love you very very much, and I am very proud of you, my darling. Bye honey.

Forgot to ask you when you left, ehh, do you want the Gyro, or the vegetarian meal. Because I realize after you left that I left with you the falafal, and I know that you're trying to lay off the carbs. Other problem I have is, 2 nights from now, when I am supposed to meet with you and your mother, we have a Yankees game. I am obsessed with New York Yankees. Not sure I can make it. So speak with your mother, both about the vegetarian meal, and the falafal, and of course about the New York Yankees, with whom I am currently obsessed.

Hey yo this Harold and I need to know when you gonna come get these boxes…because the longer these boxes sit here… I think… I'm not sure because I'm just working for the U. P. S. But ummm, I think there's a ferret in there. And I, I only say ferret as opposed to a dog or a cat, because I had a ferret once and the kinda noise this mothafucka makin' from these boxes…I'm pretty god damn sure its a ferret. And I, I don't, I don't really cuss unless I'm serious about somethin'. So I think it's a fuckin' ferret. So… I mean y'all can deal with it the way y'all want. But if you don't come get these boxes…this little dude gonna starve…Out!

Hello this is Philip Kaplan and…I like my wikipedia page and it shows…I'd rather be masturbating.

Hey, so my cat thinks you're really sexy. And that if you had a theme song, it would go like this…it would go…Meow chicka-meow-meow, meow-chicka-meow-meow…cuz you're sexy…hehe….meooowwwww.

Nigel, look, ugh, got your uh, proposal. Its absurd, its ridiculous. This like British white boy rap thing that you're trying to do. Look if you're gonna ask me to spend money mate you gotta like come up with something better than that. I don;t have time to spend money on these rubbish projects. Especially because I've presently got a cocaine problem. And I dont have a problem, admitting it. And, if I'm gonna spend my money, its gonna be money well spent.

I didn't know that I was going to reach all this kind of stuff. But all I wanted to do was comment, about your Viactiv. The new wrappings that you got on 'em us older people can not get into 'em. I've used your problem for years and I just wanted to make my comment about this. Thank you.