Hey so, I'm totally depressed. Its been a week and a half since I had sex with Dave, after dating him for like a month. And I texted him 3 times, and no response…I mean, why do you think it is? Do you think its maybe because I was wearing granny panties? Ugh, maybe it was. I don't know. I'm just gonna go take a nap…bye.

Dude! So I'm at the storage unit and um, yeah, I took the key. You didn't really ever mention that you were keeping like 80 pounds of porn here. And its not only that its 80 pounds of porn, its that like, some of it is, really, really fuckin' gross. I think we should reconsider our living arrangements.

Okay dude so like what's up with your friend Jenny that I met the other night? She's like calling me and texting me and emailing me like she's in love with me or some shit. So would you please tell her that I like, ya know, don't munch on the muff, don't do the tuna tacos, don't clown with the clam? Please…Thank you. Okay, bye bye.

Phyllus? This is Anna please call me as soon as you get this we are having a major crisis. The bridesmaid dresses just came and all the dresses are supposed to be blush pink. And they're… pedal pink… I mean its like, its like, practically… coral. Ugh, oh what am I gonna do I can't have my wedding like that, call me, I'm just, I'm gonna die…[sobbing]

Marsha, I am so freaking out right now. I have lost my acrylic pinky nail, and the crappy part is that the last I saw it was when I was putting in a tampon and I haven’t seen it since. I’m kinda scared…you think that’s bad for me and you know like my stuff? Mmmm…anyway I’ll see you at school tomorrow bye!

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