The amount of ways to irritate someone via voicemail could be a relatively long list, especially since we all have our own list of pet peeves. Below are some things you should avoid, whether you’re calling your mother or your colleague- don’t have bad voicemail etiquette! Eek!

1. Leave your phone number SUPER FAST!

Luckily with caller I.D. we don’t have to worry about this as often as we did in the past, however when you need to scribble someone’s phone number down quickly, it’s really irritating when you have to rewind the message 10 times to get the number down right-it’s especially hard if the message is super long! Slow down. AND repeat your number more than once!

2. Leave a message that’s as long as a sermon

UGH, we’re all too busy for this- there’s nothing more annoying than having to listen to someone ramble on about what they ate for lunch, or the gossip they heard form their nail lady. Who has time for that? Zip it up, get to the point.

3. Wait until you have shoddy reception, then call!

It’s sort of like playing an odd game of fill in the blank. I think they said, “boat?” wait, did they say ,”Coat?” I don’t know, they cut out! You can twist a message into an entire different story when there are holes in half of the conversation.

4. Roll down your windows, drive 60mph- then leave a voicemail

On a serious note, these messages can seriously damage someone’s ears, or worry the recipient- it almost sounds like they could be calling you from a trash bag, rolling down a mountain…in the wind. Yeah, concerning and harmful on the ears.

5. While leaving a message, check your email

“Hey man, how are you?….uh……yea, I was calling….um…..PAUSE…..sorry man, I was just reading my Facebook weekly update….um, so yeah” listening to messages like this is annoying, but also a little funny. From now on, check your email, go to the bathroom, or make your toast BEFORE you leave a message.

6. Drunk Dial, then Drunk Message

If you’re going to do this, just remember that this is potential blackmail later on. I always save the especially slurry, sing-songy, or raging screaming, whining messages. Actually my favorite drunk message that is still saved on my phone, just said, “Hammered Drunk Nakedness.” True story.

7. Let your Cat say “hello”

“Hey angela, I’ve been meaning to call- I miss you so much, oh wait- Fluffy wants to say HI….say HIIIIII Fluffy…..silence.” Um, your cat can’t talk. SO, DON’T MAKE IT LEAVE ME A MESSAGE.

8. Try to be funny, by singing me a song

Look, unless it’s “Happy Birthday” I don’t want you to sing me ANYTHING. Don’t sing your favorite part from “Shoop” because you aren’t Salt, or Peppa- they’ll always rap it better. Leave that business for karaoke.

9. The “guilt” message

If you have a mother, a girlfriend, a best friend, or a Grandmother you’ve probably received a guilt message- they’re the absolute WORST and they usually go something like this, “Hi hunny….So, I haven’t heard from you in awhile……” and, that’s where I usually delete the message before they can finish.

10. Leave a pre-recorded message…….

AH! Don’t spam me with your pre-recorded message, do you actually think people listen to those?! NO! Even worse when they start IN THE MIDDLE of a sentence and I don’t even catch who the call is from.

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