1: Hello? 2: Helloo yes? 1: Hello yes, I was looking for some prices on your tools player. 2: On your what sorry? 1: Dult? 2: What is that? 1: Ehhhh, Is aaaa-dult player. I spell for you? 2: Yes go ahead. 1: It’s a D [2: yeah]-V-[2: yeah] D 2: DVD player, gimme a second now. 1: Dooved player. 1: Hello Yes I was looking for some prices on your Dooved player. 2: A Dooved player? 1: Yes. 2: DVD player is it? D-V-D? 1: Dooved player. 2: Yeah, DVD player. 1: No itsa a dooved player? 2: Oh OK. Our entry level starts at 59.99. 1: ok I was wondering if you have a manufacturer is a Joov-k? 2: Our manufacturer be Sony. 1: Do you have any Joov-k? 2: I don’t, Sony or Panasonic. 1: OK, you have any player that play on the puck. 2: I, I cant understand ya now. Just being honest with ya. I don’t know what a puck is. 1: I spell for you? 2: Yeah. 1: It’s a P-C. 2: PC? 1: Puck! 2: Eh, uh, on a PC? 1: Yes for Windows Expluh. 2: So you want the external on a CD drive, or DVD drive. 79.95. 1: For puck? 2: And can, Its for a PC ok. I don’t know whether your taking, having a joke or what. PC, Personal computer is not pronounced “Puck”. OK, if it’s a pc your looking for well then I can help ya out. But if not I am gonna hang up. Is it a PC? Personal computer is that right? 1: Yes, Puck. 2: OK OK I’ll talk to ya later thanks bye.

1: Search X. 2: Security Systems! Talk to me! 1: Yeah gimme a second I’ll transfer ya now! 2: Morning Pete’s may I help you? 1: Hello there. I’m looking for a security system, I want something I can put on me wall. Put a camera on the wall, put it over there, put it over there, got someone who’s gonna rob my BMW, and they got shot in the face, what have you got? 2: Hold on a second. 2: Hello sales? 1: Security systems, talk to me! 2: Yeah which ones would ya like? 1: I want one with a camera you can put over in the corner, you put another camera in the corner, you put a camera on the outside, you got someone coming in to steal my BMW and he gets shot in the face , what have you got? 2: Ehmm, at the moment we’ve got nothing at all actually. 1: You aint got nothing? You got nothing in the whole store? 2: No, do you have a BMW though. 1: Oh I got a BMW it is quite nice. 2: Yeah very nice. At the moment absolutely nothing. 1: You ain’t got nothing in the store. You were all sittin’ there, you’re all getting paid. Wastin’ people’s time, and you ain’t got nothing in the store to sell. 2: Unfortunately nothing. 1: You don’t just jump in to bed with Terry Gibbs you see, you take Terry Gibbs out to lunch, you wine him, you dine him. You give him an oil massage. And he gives ya 9.50 if you’re lucky…

Listen here you little shithead. I hear how you treat your mom. I had a good talk with Grandpa and so did Grandpa, he had a good talk with your mom. You better watch what you're saying, just because you;re hanging out with your fucking Dad. If anybody is the fuckin' bitch around here, if anybody should get the fuck outta there, its your Dad. And you? You better straighten up CJ. Who are you to talk to me? You wait till I tell Aunt Jenny, Uncle Chris, and everybody how you're treating your Mom. You better cut your shit out cause you're gonna end up on the street. You better respect your Mom. I don't care who you think you are. Your Mom is your Mom. And you better not be dis-be-respecting her. And you better find out when the hell Jacob is back. Cause Grandpa's the one that called that needed to find out when Jacob is back. And if you're gonna keep talking to your Mom like that you better wait for me, because I'll get there faster than you think. Watch me! You better not be talkin' to your Mom like that. Cause I am ready to take a fuckin' week off. And go over there. And I will go CJ. You're not gonna back…mistreat your Mom like that. What is this? Go back…what did you tell her? Go back where you came back…you fuckin bitch? Or what? Who do you think you are talkin' to your Mom like that. This is they way? And you know…you just…you better have that puigsty house of yours clean. You better help your Mom. I mean it CJ you don;t help her you will hear from me. And you will hear from me and Grandpa. Cause me and Grandpa are getting ready to go over there this weekend anyways. With all the new accounts that we picked up at the Walgreens. Cause you better be ready, because I am gonna make sure that you help your mother. And if you don't, I will be in front of your door, I don't give a damn if your fuckin' Dad is there. And I'll be there with Grandpa and the Cops if I have to. I'm getting tired of the way you guys treat your Mom. I'm getting tired of you not appreciating her. You think its so good that anybody can lay in a fuckin' house like a pig pen. You wanna live like a pig pen? Well you better help your Mom clean it. Cause your Mom is gonna get sick with all this shit you all do to her. And I know you all did it purposely. So you better be a better man and bigger man than your fuckin' ass Dad, cause your Dad could give a damn. I mean it CJ, you better answer my call! And if you don't, you watch your your shoestrings at your front door. Cause me and Grandpa are going this weekend. And you watch me. So you better listen to Mom. And you better behave, and stop cussing at her. Cause I'm about to call Uncle Chris, and Aunt Jenny, everybody, cause you think you;re so good with your this and that… and then I see how you treat your Mom. I know how you treat your Mom and I've heard it all. Like your Mom got the legal advice when she was out here doing her thing? Believe me, I'm gonna throw those fucking pictures in front of your face…like you fucking bruised your Mom. And that's called abuse — what's wrong with you are you stupid? You need to go to therapy. You better go to your therapist. And she better get a hold of me, because you know what? I'll give her a talk myself. Because you are being so ugly CJ and so mean. Here I am getting ready to help you with your drivers course and everything and send you, send you money with Mom. But you know what? I'm gonna tell your Mom not to give you a damn penny, till you get your head out of your ass!

Hello Gerald, this is rod leasing player calling from human resources department. I would like to just, just. Bella, any confusion. I do feel sorry that you felt the need to storm out of the meeting that we had today, but the dispel any confusion whatsoever. You are definitely terminated at this company. You can pick up your belongings at the security desk on the first floor. Do not by any means. Proceed to the 3rd floor to your office, you will be forcibly removed. Again, I'm sorry for this call and I'm sorry that you felt the need to walk out of our meeting.

Hello Dad, its Ray, so he was just born, 7 pounds 2 ounces. And uh, surprise, we're naming him after you! His names James Oshea. Love you, I'm gonna call you back, mother and baby are doing well, call you back soon but I love you… Liamm James Oshea. Love you, bye bye!

Here is my keep the bra on mentality. You're such a liar, whatever, fuck you, this means something to me. listen…how many ways are there for breasts to go wrong? too many! too many! shh shh. how many categories are there? how many spectrums are there for things to go wrong? Too many. Too many! Every once in a while, things work out well…things work out perfectly, and god knows we appreciate it. But all too often, are men are left standing, "I should have kept the bra on." And what is the motto, what is the typical Jewish motto. Better safe than sorry. Keep the bra on always. You hear this ladies and gentleman…keep the bra on, always!

Hey honey just wanted to call you to let you know you looked real sexy today when I left for work, sleeping there with the dogs…anyway, I love you, I'll talk to ya, just, be thinkin about ya all day.

Rudolph 'Rudi' Garmisch: Yah, Chinese Downhill! It is ze only vayyyyy. Kendo Yamamoto: What eh ze fuck is a Chinese a downhill?

Hey bud, I just found your dog Rocky, he's filthy, and it just took me five minutes of cleaning off his tag to even figure out your phone number, since you didn't leave an address… I don't know where to drop him. So, he's gonna be at my house chillin' out eatin' a steak. Because he's got such a shitty owner, until you stop by to pick him up. 273 Emerald.

Hey, mama, it's, Joe again so. I just can't get this recipe down. I think I'm missing a step. I'm gonna wrote it down and I went through it again but. Did you say skin it first, and then boil it, or boy next year. Because I have ball in the scanner but when I do that It is it turns the boss. So I don't know. If you have time to call me back tonight, but I'll be here. Just give a ring. I love you, and I'll talk to you soon. Bye.